There are few things the CPA and I disagree on. In fact, we very rarely disagree, with the exception of the other night. And I have to admit that I am the one who started it. You see, it had to do with time, or the lack thereof. Time that we have to spend together and do things as a couple. It seems so limited sometimes. I know I should count myself fortunate. He could have a job where he is required to travel for weeks on end, but he doesn’t. He could have a lot of extracurricular or church obligations, but he doesn’t. So what’s my problem?
I think it stems from our early dating days. Apparently, in the years before I knew him, he would work for 12+ hours a day. Living an hour from the city, this meant that he was gone from his home for most of the day. When we started dating, he cut back on his hours a bit. He was still working full-time, more than full-time actually, but he made time to spend with me. It helped that I lived downtown and we could get together quickly and easily after work.
Things are a bit different now. Even though we only live a few miles from the DC office, it takes him 45 minutes to an hour to get home. Not only that, but his job has become more demanding lately. He works for the government, the Senate specifically, and with the economic issues and the upcoming elections, his office has been working in overdrive. I should be used to it, but I’m really not. Instead, I let myself get upset when I find out that they have called a staff meeting at 6:00 at night, meaning he won’t get home until 8:00. I let myself get aggrevated when he works hard by giving 110 percent to his job, which he’s very good at incidentally.
I know it’s not his fault and I really am trying to be more understanding. I think I am just realizing how hard it is not to spend time with him. I love when he comes home and we fix dinner together and then relax for a couple of hours. If that time is shortened at all, I get a little fiesty.
The bottom line is that I’m learning that marriage really is about time. Spending time together, making time for each other. It’s so important because it helps to build that relationship and adds to the ability to communicate with each other.
Of course marriage is also about patience.
And compromise.
And understanding.
When I look at it in that way, I realize that time, while important, is not the only thing that goes into our relationship. And while I would like more time, I’m sure he would like more understanding from me. Afterall, a little understanding and compromise makes the time we do spend together that much sweeter.
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