Monday Musings – Growing Older

Saturday morning.  The wood floor was cold under my feet as I made my way to the bathroom.  All the lights were off and the house was dark.  The sun had not yet risen as is often the case at 5:30 in the morning.  I flipped on the bathroom lights and waited until my eyes adjusted to the sudden change.  Then I grew sad as stared at my reflection in the mirror, not recognizing the tired, pale face that looked back.

Almost overnight I was different.  I could see the beginnings of a wrinkle in the crease between my brow.  I tried in vain to smooth it out, make it go away, but it stubbornly refused.  The formation of dark circles under the skin around my eyes was the result of an apparent lack of sleep.  The fine laugh lines at the corner of my mouth seemed more defined, but they weren’t laughing now.  

Who was this person staring back at me?  When did she get old?  Is this what it feels like when you age?  I remember finding my first gray hair (gasp) when I was 35, a mere two years ago.  I cried.  And then I yanked it out.  My hair stylist said I should embrace it, but I said he was delusional.  I was only 35, too young to have gray hair!!  

Fast forward two years and I am standing here in my bathroom, wondering where the time has gone.  Thankfully, my hair has remained much the same (due to genetics and some great highlights at $200 a pop).  But my face is starting to show the signs.  I can’t stop it either.  I can’t fight the process.  Sure I can go for Botox or eventually a face lift, but do I really want to?  Shouldn’t I wear my years proudly, knowing that they have been lived well and that I have accomplished much?  

It’s a shame that aging often brings such turmoil.  I believe a part of the problem is that our society emphasizes the allure of youth and all its trimmings.  Celebrities fight to stay young and use any means necessary to retain their beauty.  Magazines airbrush and photoshop until just the right image is portrayed, making us believe that that is the way to true happiness.  They don’t show the hidden truth, which is that each year we have more signs of wear, each year we all get a little older.  

They fail to point out that along with those added wrinkles and gray hair, comes more knowledge and experience.  More opportunities to spend time with family, more memories created.  Growing old includes learning new hobbies and skills and enjoying more vacations and travels.  It includes so many wonderful experiences that can only be had by living through those years.  

It’s like my dad always says, “Better to be a year older than the alternative.”  It was this thought that shook me out of my reverie as I stood looking in the mirror.  I decided right then and there that I wasn’t going to concentrate on the physical signs of my growing older.  So today, on my birthday, I was going to focus on how happy I am to be alive.  I was going to turn off the bathroom light and put those thoughts about wrinkles and gray hair behind me.  I was going to go out with my husband and make new memories. I was going to enjoy turning 37.  

And that was exactly what I did.   

Image: Istock Photos