The early 90s came and brought with it a unique set of challenges. I had moved out of my dad’s house and was living on my own. (If you can count an apartment full of roommates as being on my own.) I had started taking classes at the local college and was working as a chiropractic assistant full-time. For the most part, things were good. At least on the outside. On the inside, I felt a bit lost.
But I kept plugging along. I had a decent job and I was providing for myself. My classes were good and I was enjoying meeting new people. I had finally grown out of the gangly phase of my earlier teens and I had begun to date a lot. This was both enjoyable and problematic. You see, during high school I had friends, but didn’t date much and unfortunately my self esteem suffered because of it. As a result, I was a 19/20 year old with some new-found attention from the opposite sex and I didn’t know how to take it. Which meant that I dated a lot but couldn’t settle down. Which generally isn’t a problem when you’re that young. The problem was that I didn’t know what I was looking for.
This transferred to other parts of my life too. I began moving around. Every six months or so I would find a new apartment. And in school I couldn’t decide what to major in or even which undergraduate classes to take. I just felt restless. I didn’t know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to be.
And before I knew it, I had turned 19. Then 19 turned into 20 and 20 turned into 21. Instead of figuring things out, it was getting worse. Oh I didn’t do anything wild and crazy, but I had turned my back on my upbringing. I had distanced myself from my family and spent a lot of time being either alone or with a few friends. I know now that a lot of people go through this stage at some point in their lives and at various degrees of intensity, and for me it was no different. I think it’s a part of maturing and trying to find your place in the world.
I also think that everyone eventually reaches a point where you start to figure things out. By 22, I had finally reached that point. I had learned from my experiences and knew what I didn’t want in life and I turned away from it. I continued to think about my future and what I was going to do with it, but this time I felt like I had more direction. I started spending time with my family again. In fact, I moved home for a while, which was surprisingly nice. I started going back to church too, which had been such an integral part of my life previously. I found it was a tremendous help and for the first time in years, I felt at peace with myself.
In fact, I had a whole new outlook. I was excited about new possibilities and found myself wanting to try different things. The South where I had been born and raised no longer held the same appeal and I found myself itching to leave. The question was, what would I do? Where would I go? Maybe I could go to school in another state? Or maybe I should move to Virginia and live with family while I started working in the area? Suddenly there seemed to be so many paths from which to choose.
I would have never predicted the one I ended up taking…
(to be continued)
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