Comments on: Reserving Judgment

By: The Educated Neanderthal

The Educated Neanderthal — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 14:11:45 +0000

It is more difficult than what it seems to withhold judgment. One of the aspects of my job is delivering room service in a well-known and reputable hotel. I am certain that I could shock you and your readers with some of the things that I have seen and heard. In these situations I try to prevent any emotion from registering on my face, and exit as quickly and as gracefully as possible. I try to remind myself that to these guests, particularly for those on an extended stay, the room is their home…but it would help if they would also treat it that way. I am pretty sure that most people at least put on pants to pay the pizza delivery man.
I really enjoy your blog…keep up the good work.

By: Love Letters to an American Soldier

Love Letters to an American Soldier — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:08:41 +0000

Lovely post Tabitha! This is a challenge that I think about and work on every day!
I have gotten pretty good at stopping and thinking because my motto has always been “never assume”. It allows me to keep open-minded and it keeps me from judging people or situations.
I try to sway others to do the same. It serves to work well in a lot of situations like sexism, racism, classicism, etc.

I am so glad you wrote about this; thanks!

(Btw, I am letting everyone know that I’ve changed my site URL, so you’ll have to go here: http://thetravelingletters.blogspot.com/ to read me

Love Letters to an American Soldier´s last blog post..Sunni Uprising in Baghdad

By: M to T&D&D&A&T

M to T&D&D&A&T — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:07:14 +0000

You make an excellent point and reminds each of us that we need to remember a couple of old sayings: you can’t judge a book by its cover and don’t judge lest you be judged. I think also that another fits the ticket here – you don’t know until you walk in another’s shoes.

Often in life I’ve experienced many times in various positions I’ve held where I was called upon to visit homes. It’s been truly amazing to me because often I was in total shock with how people live their lives within their homes. Not what I’d made up my mind by their outward appearances.

I learned early in life that you don’t know the “why’s” and “reasons” for anything until you’re living it or doing it yourself. Why did the cashier snap at you? Is she that sort of person to do so each day or had she had a dead battery when she was preparing to go to work? Was the home I saw messy and unkept because the homemaker just doesn’t care or enjoy housework or she’d been up with a sick baby for 3 days straight and her husband is out of town?

I think the greatest lesson I’ve learned is not to judge. We can still “think” our own thoughts and wonder a bit, but not judge and certainly not speak of our thoughts to others. Judging and gossiping are two things that we definitely should not participate in.

By: admin

admin — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:48:02 +0000

Alzo – I need the reminder too!

Ali – I know the feeling. I used to clean when my sister came over, not so much anymore. Now our new brother-in-law knows how we really live!

Sarah – you’re probably right, there may be some truth to what people are thinking. I guess the key is to not be hurt by it or, as the person observing, not hurt others with our judgments.

Heidi – ha! I agree with Sarah – that Joes is a keeper! And don’t worry, I’m a Peeping Tom too. I can’t help it, I just have to see how other people live! Judgment or not!

By: Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:24:41 +0000

Heidi, you should definitely hang on to this Joe guy. I'd have to bribe Donald if I wanted to hear that I was a curious type of genius. Like make bacon every morning for a year. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com´s last blog post..25 Weeks: Them’s child-bearing hips.

By: Heidi

Heidi — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 02:34:53 +0000

OH MY GOD. I’ve been meaning to blog about this very thing!

I confess: I’m a Peeping Tom! Whenever I’m walking the pug I peer into people’s windows. It’s borderline harassment. I know I’m a reporter, and by nature, a nosy kid. But MAN, do I love spying on people.

As for judging, I hate to say it, but we all do it. Anyone who says they don’t judge is lying to themselves. Ain’t no shame in it either, as long as we know when to keep our mouths shut. If we didn’t judge other people, we’d be opinion-less droids.

How do people judge ME? Let me ask Joe.

He said: “Friendly, with a curious type of genius that is totally not self-aware. People probably think you have a good head on your shoulders, which is usually adorned with a headband.”

Wowzas. Curious type of genius? Someone’s getting laid tonight!

Heidi´s last blog post..There’s fairy dust on my keyboard.

By: Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 04:12:16 +0000

I do not typically feel that people jump to conclusions about me – and when they do? They’re probably, to some extent, whether I like it or not, a little bit right. And for every negative judgment that makes it back to my ears, there’s a positive one. I would hate to be the sort of person who was willing to accept compliments people make without seeing the whole picture (pleasant, thoughtful, intelligent) without being willing to accept the more negative observations people make without seeing the whole picture (brash, manipulative, arrogant). I figure that people come to a conclusion for a REASON and that it is my job to determine what the reason is and determine whether or not I feel it is appropriate (obviously, there are some instances wherein compliments and offenses are both inappropriate) and whether or not I agree. Feedback – even the negative stuff – gives me insight into whether or not I really am the person I think I am and I want to be. To some extent, at least.

That said, I’m also probably the first person in line to ignore the negative stuff people say. So you may wish to disregard everything I just said lol.

As for things that make me judge: um, the list is too long to put here. I try to reserve judgment, I really do, but I think to some extent it’s human nature to look at someone and go “wow, they’ve really got their shit together,” or (on the flip side) “what is the matter with that moron?” There’s nothing wrong with thinking these things, especially if you try to temper it, it’s just common sense and common courtesy not to always say that stuff out loud.

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com´s last blog post..A bright new day.

By: Ali @ Kent Chronicles

Ali @ Kent Chronicles — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 05:05:47 +0000

Whew! You’re welcome in my home, then – it’s always a mess!
We only clean when company’s coming, and that wouldn’t include the nanny/dog walker, etc .
Interpret as they may!

Ali @ Kent Chronicles´s last blog post..the Poetry of Life – #004

By: Alzo

Alzo — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:53:17 +0000

What a great post! I used to deliver furniture and appliances to lots of different homes, so I got to see how a lot of people lived. It can be really easy to judge because from all appearances, some people live like pigs. I remember walking out of some houses feeling like I needed a shower. But, we should not judge until we have walked a mile in their shoes. So easy to say and so hard to do. Besides, cleanliness and orderliness is relative. The way I live would probably be appalling to some neat freak. Thanks for the reminder about trying not to judge.

By: admin

admin — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:51:29 +0000

Jenna – ha! I do the same thing when I go to mine – I’m always giving her excuses as to why I haven’t been when what I really don’t say is that it’s so expensive I can’t afford to go often!!

Robynn – eloquently stated!

Anneli – great comment and a good reminder to think before we speak!

Erin – what a great story! I’m glad that it worked out too – it’s experiences like those that really make us think, isn’t it?

Courtney – I know, my house is a mess right now! I’m definitely not one to point fingers. I makes me wonder what people would think if they could see it!

Sandy – thanks!!

Domestic Fringe – Ha!! You sound like my aunt who did the exact same thing. She’d clean before the cleaning lady came!

Tabitha Blue – that’s all we can do really, which is just keep working on ourselves I guess. It sure helps to have great comments like these!