Feeling Restless
Thu, Oct 29, 2009
The other evening, after what seemed like my 100th day home due to illness (it was actually my seventh), I found myself restless. The CPA had come home and while I was glad to have company after a long day by myself, I was still restless. It was more than restlessness actually, it bordered on boredom.
But how could that be? I have a list of things to do that is literally a mile long and includes everything from paint the nursery to clean the bathroom, yet there I was, bored. And restless.
It finally occurred to me what my problem is. I feel that I’m in a state of “limbo.” I’m in the process of preparing for something that is bigger than anything I’ve ever known, something that will change our lives in ways that I can’t yet imagine. Yet while I prepare, nothing seems to be happening. The world is continuing to revolve on its axis just like every other day and I continue to get up and get dressed and go to work just like everyone else. But with something so earth-shattering merely weeks away, shouldn’t things be different?
It’s almost like I don’t quite know what to do with myself. It’s as if I don’t want to spend my energy doing the mundane, daily tasks that I’ve done for so many years when my life will drastically change in a matter of weeks. But it is still weeks away and even though it feels like time has stopped, I know that the moment will arrive and I’ll wonder were it all went.
So until then, I will just have to be patient and keep plugging along. Besides, that nursery isn’t going to paint itself!
Is it just me or does everyone get like this?
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October 29th, 2009 at 5:24 am
I know I cannot relate through the pregnancy, but I can with my job. I am pretty miserable with my job and desperately looking for a job in the field I want. I am also in limbo!
Jessica @ How Sweet´s last blog ..Carmelized Pear, Figs, and Gorgonzola.
October 29th, 2009 at 5:58 am
It’s not just you. I get like that all the time; in fact, I felt like that yesterday after having gone through my annual physical. It’s an awful feeling. I’m pretty sure everyone feels like that at some point in their lives – plugging along doing their things as they would, and then boom, a little downtime because of illness or whatnot, and they just don’t want to do anything. Maybe it is life’s way of telling us to slow down and be bored and restless a little bit?
October 29th, 2009 at 6:12 am
It’s like the calm before the storm. (Ha Ha) No I think it totally normal, because when the baby is born your life will change, a huge change, and its almost like nothing you do will prepare you for it. And right now its like wait time, knowing and waiting. But trust me this time is crucial. Take care of yourself, and when your feeling those nagging feeling, get some fresh air, or relax on the couch. You and the baby will appreciate it.
Jenna @ Newlyweds´s last blog ..Meet the Newlyweds Nathan and Jennifer
October 29th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Today is the first day I actually feel good enough to be “up and around” and I am definitely getting out of the house today–as soon as the stores open.
Hey, I can browse, that doesn’t cost anything.LOL
Glad you’re feeling better. You’ll look back on this day in about six months with desire. ;D
Jules
sparkly_jules´s last blog ..Salt Lake City, UT
October 29th, 2009 at 7:10 am
I think that anything “off” you experience can and should be blamed on pregnancy. Use it while you can.
Glad you’re feeling better.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor´s last blog ..When I Am Sick
October 29th, 2009 at 7:29 am
You’re not alone, every woman I’ve ever talked with expressed just these sort of feelings. Staying “up” all the time is a daunting task and one that isn’t realistic for any of us. Anticipating the arrival of your little guy keeps you in a state of wonder and excitement for the big event. Everyday events pail in comparison.
Hang in there and just keep plugging away at your list. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how satisfying it will be to keep checking off the items on your list and seeing at the same time how the days will more quickly go by. Enjoy each day for what it offers you and the CPA….whether you do things on your list or just take it easy — it’s all O.K. You’re pregnant – the regular rules don’t apply!!!
October 29th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Did you feel this way while planning your wedding? All prep and nothing happened until it happened? This is sorta the same thing, except perhaps, for you, the anticipation is much BIGGER!
Also, give yourself a break. You’ve been unwell… No one thinks or sees things correctly through the mist of illness. Oh, or through the fog of being PREGNANT! Gracious, there’s a lot going on there!
So give yourself and the Bambino a break. All you need right now is rest – so take it!
Everything will come together the way it always has for you. You need the 3 P’s… Practice Patience, Dear Prudence! Ha ha…
Soon you’ll be wishing for boredom! I promise!
Much love to you!
October 29th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Use the time to pamper yourself. Not just sleep, but do what you want when you want, and take care of yourself. Because just as something huge and big is starting and that is huge and awesome and great, there is a part of your life that is ending too (the freedom part). You will enjoy your baby when he is here, but for now, enjoy your free time and sleep.
October 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
I think everyone feels that way. We feel that way when good things are happening as well as the bad. After I lost my mom I felt like it wasn’t fair that people were going about their lives with smiles on their faces, doing their every day things like grocery shopping and going to work. Then when I got pregnant I felt that way too, that I was carrying around a little secret or something.
And once your beautiful baby arrives, you’ll feel like you’ve kind of been taken out of the world for just a little bit of time while you adjust to your new life. But… it’s amazing.
Terra´s last blog ..Our new family
October 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
I can totally understand feeling this way. Although I’m not there yet, I had similar feelings when I was taking pregnancy tests. I felt like, “I am about to do something that will change the rest of my life. How can everyone else just be stopping for coffee or going grocery shopping or doing laundry like normal? HOW CAN I?!”.
I don’t know how to cure the restlessness (although painting the nursery might help, or at least distract you to the point of comfort), but I do know it’s perfectly normal
Let it happen. Be restless. I bet in a few months you’ll wish you had some of this free time back!
Kate´s last blog ..She Says… Trial and Error
October 29th, 2009 at 11:07 am
I really think this not only applies to awaiting the birth of your children, but also to life in general. When I graduated college, I was restless for the fast track, for results, for everything good to come my way, immediately! I felt like I was wasting my time, I had places to be, and everyday was a waste.
Needless to say, I was in a bad place. I recognized it and started…Knitting. I signed up for classes and I think Knitting with sixty year old women really gave me perspective. That Christmas, I completed a blanket (well, half of one) for the hubby (he still wants the other half) and was well on my way to realizing that the journey matters so much more than the destination.
Enjoy every moment. Relish every second. Know that soon enough your life will be even more fantastic. The anticipation, the build up, the nurturing you’re doing right now: breathe it, live it, welcome it.
Carolina Baker´s last blog ..Get Health and Fit, Part 2 – Diet Edition
October 29th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Never felt that way due to pregnancy obviously but we’re closing on our first home on Tuesday. The past month was very limbo-y. Plus, I am going to have to start looking for a new job so that makes it even more so. I have no advice for you though. Sorry.
Julie´s last blog ..Our First Home
October 30th, 2009 at 6:55 am
Oh yes, my wife went through these same uneasy, “in a bit of a funk” feelings with both of her pregnancies. In her case, they were followed-up in the last few weeks by some intense “nesting” time. That was the time where she worked like crazy, and “strongly encouraged” me to do the same, to make sure every last detail was covered before the new gift from God arrived.
Maybe it’s nature’s way of giving you a timeout and period of rest before you switch into intense mommy mode?
Dustin | Engaged Marriage´s last blog ..Weekly Round-Up of Interesting Reads #6
October 30th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I hear you FSTM. Can totally relate. Just stick to your routine, but try to get out and walk a bit–get some fresh air and some perspective. In some ways there is no way to prepare except to be really rested up at all times. There is a certain anticlimactic sensation you feel when winding up for the Big Day. And did you know that normal gestation for humans is 9 to 10 months? I was one of those who clocked in at 9.5 months and thought I would always be pregnant!
Keep your chin up–wonder awaits!
October 30th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
It may just be the monotony of being indoors while you are sick. Every winter I get what I call cabin fever and warn DH that I have it. I want to do something but I don’t know what it is. In the meanwhile I am a little bit crabby and weepy. Eventually it passes. Living in an area with the longest winters I have ever known(snow in 7 months of the year) knitting has saved me.Nothing fancy, just knit, knit knit. Thank heavens that Goodwill will take all the scarves I make.
And Carolina Baker hit it right on the head when she said that the journey matters so much more than the destination. There will be days that you feel trapped at home with never ending housework and difficult children. You will ask yourself ‘is this all there is to life?’ The answer is yes. The daily process of living and how well we do it – with love and patience and tenderness- is it.
November 4th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
You know what’s really odd? When you bring the baby home from the hospital and find out that life on the outside didn’t come to a complete standstill while you gave birth. I have never felt more restless than that first afternoon back home.
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com´s last blog ..My boobies need to go night-night too.
December 3rd, 2009 at 1:36 pm
I know exactly what you’re talking about. After the showers are over and things start to trail off, there is a lull where you just want something to happen. It’s a good sign. A good sign that you’re ready. I went through all sorts of emotions: terror, happiness, anticipation, fear and then anxiousness.
Enjoy finishing up the nursery. I had that all done early too and had nothing to do but sit in the rocking chair staring at the walls and imagining my little in the room. I think I folded and sorted clothes for two weeks before he was born.
Everyone is right. Take time to do things that you want to do before the baby comes. Relax and pamper yourself. Although, I never took any of that advice.
)
Good luck! It’s an amazing amazing journey once the baby arrives that just gets better and better with each day.