What They Don’t Tell You About Being Pregnant
Fri, Nov 13, 2009
Oh, where do I begin? The past seven months I’ve experienced all kinds of joy: seeing the positive sign on that little stick, feeling the baby move for the first time, seeing his little face on the monitor. All of these things make being pregnant worth it, but I’m not going to lie to you, not all of it is a walk in the park. It’s not easy gaining weight and feeling your body shape as-you-know-it disappear. It’s not easy to one day wake up and not be able to see your feet or shave your legs. But these are things that I think most of us expect when we get pregnant.
So today I want to talk about things that you don’t expect. Things that they don’t tell you about before you get pregnant. Things like the following:
- Your vagina will hurt. (Yes, I did just use the word “vagina.”) For me, this started around the 25 week mark. I first noticed it when I’d get up from my desk at work and would have to stop from the sudden pain shooting through my private area. I asked my doctor if my hoo-ha-ha was broken and he said, nope, it’s just your pelvic muscles stretching to get ready for the birth. Nice.
- You will feel claustrophobic. Now this one may just be my own particular ailment, but there are times where I feel claustrophobic, like I can’t get enough air. It usually happens at night when I’m lying down. I remember one night around 25 weeks when I couldn’t sleep and I started having a panic attack because I was sure that that I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t a good feeling. I soon learned, however, that if I propped myself up with pillows, I felt much better. At this rate though, by my 40th week I’ll have to sleep standing up.
- You will need to wear a bra to bed. I’m of the philosophy that the slumber hours are great for a number of reasons and at the top of the list is the fact that women can take off their bras and get a little relief from the restraints they’ve been in all day. This all changed, however, around 22 weeks, when I started waking myself up every time I rolled over and my breasts inadvertently shifted from one side to the other. Ouch! Sleeping bra, here I come.
- You will always want to have a spare pair of underwear handy. Plan on laughing any time during the day? Then you may want to have a spare pair of undies in your purse for the occasional, uh, accident. Got a cold? A spare pair is not even an option at that point – it’s a necessity.
- Your posture will improve. A benefit of being pregnant that is often not mentioned, is that you will usually have ramrod straight posture. This isn’t due to a sudden desire to be the Emily Post poster child, but rather the desire to avoid the feeling that your insides have been squished against your ribcage. Somehow sitting up straight, especially while driving, really helps alleviate that feeling.
I think that’s about it. Of course I’m still early into my third trimester, so I may be in for some more surprises, but I’ll let you know. I just want to get the word out for those unsuspecting mothers-to-be who may not realize that these things are not only normal, but they are to be expected.
I sure wish someone had told me!
What things surprised you about being pregnant?
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Tags: expectations, Pregnancy Life
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November 13th, 2009 at 5:15 am
Can’t chime in on this discussion but I have a question. Are you going to stay home or go back to work. Just curious.
-kriss
November 13th, 2009 at 5:30 am
Ha! Nice post. So true. I especially like the first one because that was the one I couldn’t figure out. No one told me about that either. I kept wondering why it felt like my “Hoo ha ha” was trying to reach my knees.
November 13th, 2009 at 5:31 am
Hahaha oh my. SO much to look forward to!
November 13th, 2009 at 5:36 am
I feel you on the claustrophic thing. This time around I feel like people are pushing on me inside and out. It is driving me nuts!
November 13th, 2009 at 5:57 am
Ahhh Kriss, that IS a good question! And one that we’re still debating actually. A lot depends on my job and right now our company is in a big transition phase (we’re moving out of our office at the end of the month) so things are still up in the air.
November 13th, 2009 at 6:18 am
Hate to tell you, but the spare underwear thing doesn’t stop after the baby pops out. And if you’re used to “let me hold it until I finish this one little thing,” well, plan on changing underwear a lot. Nothing like having to tell your husband in the middle of errands that you have to go home to change because you waited too long to figure out where the bathrooms were.
My biggest surprise was the deep, abiding love I felt for my maternity pillow. It took up an enormous amount of the bed and my husband referred to it as my “boyfriend,” but I cherished that thing. As much as my belly seemed to stretch, it couldn’t quite handle the stretch to rest on the bed as I lay on my side. I needed the pillow to prop it up.
Oh! And, er, how difficult it was to, uh, clean up after going to the bathroom. Wiping became a gymnastic exercise
Joanna´s last blog ..Another List
November 13th, 2009 at 6:30 am
True! I actually didn’t have the pee issue while pregnant (J was SUPER high until about ten minutes before push time.. haha), but I did have it after. I still have it, though much less than before, eighteen months later. I also.. took on water (for lack of a better way to say that).. when I took baths, for several months after.
I didn’t get the claustrophobia, but I did get some crazy form of restless leg (restless BODY?) syndrome. I would be laying down at night or relaxing on the couch or trying to take a nap, and I would start to completely freak out if I didn’t move my legs or something RIGHT THEN. It was terrible. I don’t miss that.
At least it’s worth it, you know?
November 13th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Ohhh I don’t mean to laugh, but this was quite funny. I am however sorry that you are experiencing such things. I’m a member of the IBTC, so I doubt I will ever have to wear a bra to bed unless mother nature just works crazy overtime! heh!
November 13th, 2009 at 6:50 am
Jill, never say never! I was and am again, part of the club. But during pregnancy and while nursing, it was va va va voom. Hahaha.
November 13th, 2009 at 6:57 am
ha ha!! Emily – I’m with you! All of the sudden I have these new additions and am not quite sure what to do with them. Too bad they probably won’t stick around after I stop nursing!
Oh – and Joanna, you are absolutely right. Pregnancy adds a whole knew meaning to the term “going to the bathroom.” I really hope I can make it through the end without needing help in that department. All I can say is that it’s a good thing my husband loves me.
November 13th, 2009 at 7:15 am
When I was pregnant with my oldest son, I happened to turn on Oprah and she was having a show on everything your mother never told you about being pregnant and what your girlfriend should tell you.
It was more than eye opening.
I literally sat there with my mouth hung open thinking what in heavens name have I done? Let me just say fiber, fiber, fiber after you have the baby. On the show it talked about how difficult it could be to go to the bathroom the first time after you have the baby and that it can be really painful especially if there’s tearing, so I was afraid to go to the bathroom. Ten days later I ended up back in the hospital because I hadn’t gone yet and had a crazy fever and was in so much pain.
Moral of the story: try not to get to freaked out when you hear about a potential side effect of giving birth and take the stool softeners they give you like they’re m&m’s.
Kim D.´s last blog ..Rust
November 13th, 2009 at 7:25 am
I think the reason the negatives aren’t really spoke about is because once the baby arrives those things are faded memories. But it is truly amazing what the human female body is capable of. You are doing great. Keep up the good work.
Jes´s last blog ..New Look…Again
November 13th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Ahh the joys of pregnancy. One thing people never tell you is how much your skin will change. I had the worst acne on my face and back, never in my life did I have acne. Also one of the best fun things is all the attention. I just loved when people would ask me about my pregnancy or when I was due, or what I was having. Great times!!
Jenna @ Newlyweds´s last blog ..Winter Garden week 4
November 13th, 2009 at 8:05 am
Pretty funny. I wish someone had told me that I’d still need to leave the hospital in maternity clothes. For some it’s not the case, but for many of who are not stick figure thin, the thought of squeezing the deflated belly into ‘real’ jeans just can’t be tolerated.
-FringeGirl
the domestic fringe´s last blog ..M&M’s & Weight Loss
November 13th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Things people didn’t tell me about:
1) Varicose veins in places I didn’t know were possible.
2) Yes – major claustrophobia.
3) That stretch marks don’t gradually appear. You wake up one morning and BOOM there they are.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor´s last blog ..Tell Me Why I Bother. Please.
November 13th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Domestic Fringe – I’m already planning now to just wear my favorite yoga pants home just for that reason! And Mindee – every morning I get up and look in the mirror to see if I’ve gotten any marks on my stomach. I know all too well how they suddenly appear out of nowhere. Good times!
November 13th, 2009 at 9:33 am
This is all very good to know!
Kristina P.´s last blog ..Picture Perfect
November 13th, 2009 at 10:28 am
The worst is definitely still to come…and not even during pregnancy. The postpartum period is the WORST!!!!!! Again, totally worth it. But awful all the same.
I know this is TMI, but I didn’t poop for 5 days after Lily was born. It was awful. I also ended up with a uterine infection (not sure how???). That’s on top of having stitches from tearing “down there” and all the other “normal” stuff, like feeling like you are definitely going to die of blood loss sometime in that first week.
Oh! And in the bra department, there’s the incredibly painful engorgement when your milk comes in. I slept with a heating pad on my chest for 3 nights. And don’t pump, because if you do then your body will keep making that much milk! AAHHHH!!!!
November 13th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Pretty much the same things that you posted about. Although, with the feeling of being claustrophobic, that hit when I had a cold and I had a serious panic attack about not being able to breathe or get a good breath.
One thing else that I wasn’t prepared for, is that for the most part I felt attractive while pregnant. I think that I knew most people were looking at my belly and not my thighs or something and it made me feel more beautiful.
I think you’ve listed most things. After the baby comes will come a whole new list.
Terra´s last blog ..Our new family
November 13th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Eryn – now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve heard much about the post-partum portion of this whole adventure. But it sounds kind-of scary! I think the hardest part for me is knowing whether something is normal or not. If it’s normal and everyone experiences, I think I can handle it pretty well. It’s the not knowing what’s going on that freaks me out!
and Terra – I have to agree with what you said about feeling attractive. It’s funny because I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and I am sticking out in places that don’t usually stick out, but I love my pregnant belly. That’s something I never figured would happen.
November 13th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
HA!!! Ah, post-partum. I’d never before been so proud of the fact that I was brave enough to wipe after going to the bathroom. Took me six days to get up the nerve.
Joanna´s last blog ..Another List
November 13th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
That sneezy-laughy-peepee thing doesn’t just happen to the pregnant or been-pregnant. Heh. Uh, I’ve had a rash of bladder infections in my life and I just can’t hold it. Let Poise of Stayfree Maxi-pads be your new friend–save the underpants, just change pads. TMI, I know, but we’re all just girls here, right?
Another thing I never knew about pregnancy (since I’ve not), and I saw this on Oprah a few years ago, were hemorrhoids–ugh,and that when your milk comes in, it doesn’t come out of just one place on the nipple: it comes out of multiple places simultaneously and is kind of star-shaped. Again, not having had this happen, it’s apocryphal, but still.
I think I could do without the hoo-ha-ha pain. :^D But it will be so worth it when you see your son’s little face!!
Thanks for being so honest!
Jules
sparkly_jules´s last blog ..It’s My Birthday . . .
November 13th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
The only thing I’ve experinced so far on your list is the vag pain. OMG, it hurts!
November 14th, 2009 at 12:34 am
Ohh, that breathless feeling. Yikes, I hated that. Towards the end I actually did sleep almost straight up… I slept in Brian’s recliner most nights, and not fully reclined.
My tailbone hurt more than my vagina hurt. WOW did my tailbone ever hurt, from like 35 weeks on. Actually come to think of it, towards the end The Kiddo would kick straight down – I swear she was trying to stick her foot out my hoohaw. THAT hurt.
Also, sleeping with a bra does not end when the baby comes out. Not only are your boobs tender postpartum because you’re nursing (from the constant filling and emptying, I think) but you just need the bra to hold the nursing pads in so you don’t wake up with soaked sheets every night. I still did sometimes, but it would have been WAY worse if I were braless. I am SO looking forward to when I can go back to sleeping braless.
Like Eryn I also did not have a movement for 5 days after, even with stool softeners. I was afraid to put too much effort into it too, because what if I tore my C stitches and I wasn’t sure I could use those muscles. Laughing even hurt. I also thought I had a UTI, but my cultures came back negative – I think it was just residual irritation from being catheterized for the C. Oy. So fun! It gets better, though.
erin´s last blog ..diaper sprayer tutorial
November 14th, 2009 at 3:25 am
THANK YOU for this! there is so much i do not know and will not know unless kind souls like yourself inform me of it OR i blindly experience it myself-firsthand.
i appreicate so very much your doing the former
November 14th, 2009 at 4:29 am
Jules – you just reminded me that I need to pick up some of those pads today per my doctor’s orders!
I keep forgetting thinking that I’ll be fine without them but I know that the time I really need them I’ll be sorry!
Erin – I keep waiting for the time when I have to move to our recliner. So far I’m doing alright with just a stack of pillows, but I’m sure it’s not too far off. I’m just glad that we got a nice nursing chair that doubles as a place where I can sleep if need be.
November 14th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I adopted…no stretch marks, no feeling claustrophobic (except when the kids hug me), etc. Congrats & good luck…wish I COULD have given birth but God had other plans.
November 14th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
The ever-present, awful heartburn was only one of a few surprises. It’s a bad bad day if I miss a dose of Pepcid. Then, to go along with the change of underwear thing…there’s the discharge thing. Not sayin’ anything more about that!
I have developed a deep relationship with my Snoogle body pillow. I should name him. Then there’s the spider veins – on my belly? – and the swelling in my ankles. My hands feel like I have arthritis, I snore, I sweat and toss and turn in my sleep. Oh, and I can’t breathe. Luckily, I’ve been able to read about most of these things ahead of time in “The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy” but they’ve all still caught me off guard.
My monster-in-law used to say that pregnancy was soooo wonderful and it was the most peaceful sleep she’s ever had blah blah blah. I finally told her (in a nice way of course) that the joy of having the baby must have made her memory fade about the yucky parts and she actually agreed!
November 15th, 2009 at 10:25 am
I am 31 weeks and 3 days pregnant. And I can’t wait to be done. You forgot to mention the sciatic nerve’s being fried, the pelvis separation, the kicking of the cervix (or whatever they are doing in there! What ARE They doing in there to create that LOVELY feeling?!) the inability to breath from you nasal passage having a mind of its own… oh the list goes on! Good luck! Can’t wait to see your little bean!
Jaimey´s last blog ..Thursday Thankful-31 weeks
November 15th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I am soooo with Eryn. Postpartum is the worst. Like her, I didn’t poop for five days. I could feel things brewing and started farting like a madman at day two, and then I was miserable with worry that my butt would fall off or my uterus would fall out until day five. When I finally did poop, I gave my husband the baby and spent like forty minutes in the bathroom trying to calm myself down. It’s just not right, you’re in so much unfathomable pain and then you have five days worth of poop stored up?
At least the first few poops were soft. For me. Thank the stars.
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com´s last blog ..My not-so-guilty pleasure.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Just wait for all the suprises you get when you bring the baby home.
I’ll never forget our Oldest Rugrats first poop. I thought something was wrong with him….. OH MY!
Mommas Soapbox´s last blog ..PAINTING IN PEACE
November 15th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
OK. I’ve been staring at Jill’s comment for far too long trying to figure out what the IBTC is and it just hit me! The Itty Bitty Titty Committee!
Not only did I learn that when I’m pregnant my tits will WAKE ME UP in the middle of the night, but that I’ll never be a member of the IBTC. Never. Ever.
Excellent post, Tab. I noticed you’re taking a cue from Sarah, blogging about your vag and whatnot.
November 18th, 2009 at 7:36 am
LOL! This post is fantastic! The bra thing? Spot on. Be prepared to definitely wear one EVERY waking and sleeping moment once the baby arrives! Your chest will become gigantic and even more so if you choose to nurse! Between the leakage and the weight, you absolutely HAVE to wear a bra! Good luck!
November 18th, 2009 at 8:38 am
No one told me how much my belly button would hurt. It converted from an insie to an outsi.The skin was so sensitive that just the soft fabric of my pants was unbearable. I put a band aid on it.Fortunatly, it converted back and that did not hurt.
It was worth it though. That “baby” is getting married next summer and I am looking forward to grandbabies. All the fun and none of the pain!
December 2nd, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Nobody told me that pregnancy lasts like 5 years.
Karol´s last blog ..I can’t count either, but this is ridiculous