I’m a planner by nature. Whenever a big event is looming, I start making my checklists and going over the fine details in order to get ready – that’s the fun in it for me, the preparation. So when I woke up a few nights ago feeling slightly funny, the first thing I thought wasn’t – “oh no, I hope the baby is okay.” It was “oh no – I’m not ready!”
It was about 1:30 am and I was cramping, something I hadn’t experienced since May 2009. To give myself a little credit, I did wait about an hour before waking my husband and about another 10 minutes before calling the doctor. I told her how I was feeling, how the pain was in my lower right side (apparently where the uterus is) and how it got worse whenever I touched my stomach. That’s when she told me to go to the hospital.
So at 2:30 am, the CPA and I showed up at Labor and Delivery with our computer, books, and water in hand, ready for a long night. We were definitely not disappointed about the long night. We were told that all 12 rooms were filled with delivering women so we had to wait in some chairs out in the hall. The cramps weren’t terribly painful – more than anything I was just worried as to what they meant. At 28 weeks, I knew that our baby would be in for a fight if he were to come early and that’s the last thing we wanted. So I willingly stuck it out on that uncomfortable waiting room chair for the next four hours while we waited to be seen. I kept reminding myself that it could always be worse – I could be the woman sitting beside me who, at 39 weeks, was in full-on active labor and was obviously suffering a bit.
Finally, at 6:30 in the morning, they brought us back to another department called the PACU. While this wasn’t one of the individual rooms of L&D, at least I was being seen. I was hooked up to a couple of monitors – one for me, and one for baby. A few minutes later, the resident doctor came by to take a look. She said my cervix was closed, which was important. And the baby’s heart rate was holding steady around 135 so he was doing well too. I was having mild contractions, so they wanted to do a test called fetal fibronectin. If it was positive, then there was a risk that I could go into pre-term labor during the next two weeks and they would start giving me steroid shots to help the baby’s lungs develop faster. If it was negative, I could go home and resume my life, aka my planning preparations.
An hour later we had our answer – it was negative. Hallelujah! Then we got to see the our little guy on an ultrasound and there he was moving around just happy as ever. All of this hooplah hadn’t phased him in the least.
The CPA and I were discharged by 9:30 and since we were very tired, we headed home. I was so relieved that I wasn’t going into pre-term labor, that I had a hard time sleeping right away. Labor at 28 weeks! The thought was unimaginable on so many levels. What would have happened to the baby – would he have been all right? Would I have been able to handle it? What about the nursery which we haven’t even started and what about our baby shower in just a few days? So many thoughts were running around my head and all with the same underlying theme: I am just not ready.
But then the question is: will I ever be? There’s only so much planning and preparing that I can realistically do – this baby is going to come when he’s ready, whether I am or not.
Still, a little more planning can’t hurt.
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