Comments on: Disciplining Children

By: Steph

Steph — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 06:45:06 +0000

I haven’t read all the comments here but I have to say I am completely against spanking… Why on earth would you want to harm your child? Not to mention that you are teaching your child violence is acceptable by your actions.. I have worked in several childcare settings and I have always found that children that are spanked at home are physical with other children when they are upset.

Honestly, I think it’s disgusting and child services should be called.

By: admin

admin — Thu, 13 May 2010 14:13:04 +0000

As always – great suggestions and advice! Plus I just enjoyed reading your experiences, it’s very interesting to hear what other people grew up with and what they’re comfortable implementing with their own children. I think we have a plan for what to use and hopefully it will work!

By: mitzi

mitzi — Mon, 03 May 2010 14:45:34 +0000

The best child raising book I ever read was How to Generate Values in Young Children by Sue Riley. It is available from Amazon. I used it from toddler to teen age. Love the child, respect the child, let them learn from consequences. My oldest had ADD of epic proportions. We would sometimes send him to his room for “attitude reajustment” he could come down whenever he felt calm. We also used a mini tramploline to burn up the excess energy if he couldn’t go outside. As my dad said, ” you could beat that child to death and it wouldn’t change his behavior”. Spanking was useless for him, reasoning and consequences worked. Loved the comments about ‘catching them being good’ and teaching them how to behave instead of just punishing bad behavior.
I’ve been unable to get good internet connections for a while. Just wanted to say Congratulations on Henry’s birth. He is a lovely little guy.

By: diana

diana — Sat, 01 May 2010 15:59:05 +0000

My kids are 11, 9 and 2 and 2 1/2. As some of the mommies here said, the disciplining evolved with age. For the younger it’s a mix of gentle teaching; I find it so much more productive to explain the wrong and show how it shold have been done right. Of course there is A LOT of work involved, and of course she sometimes ends in time-out. But 90% of the time she responds beautifully to kindness.

For the boys it’s mainly reward and withdraw of privileges. But, of course, I always talk a lot with them about every little part of their manners, behaviour, gentleness..

yeah, I adore them.

By: Aubrey

Aubrey — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:21:42 +0000

My baby is just a little younger than yours, but i’ve also been doing some thinking about punishment. I was given a book called “Don’t make me count to three” by ginger plowman, which I’ve started and it seems really great. It is more about the heart issue and teaching children to be loving. Anyway… just thought I’d leave a recommendation. i’ve also heard really good things about “shepherding a child’s heart.”

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:52:53 +0000

Time outs, however they are a bit different. We don’t have the child completely separate from the rest of the household. They can sit in one spot in the living room or anywhere. And they don’t have to be miserable in the time out. Meaning, we don’t require that they just sit, they can read, hold a toy, etc. Often my daughter would do a time out in our craft closet, with the door wide open and start working on a project in there during her time out. Sometimes she’d write us notes to get her feelings out. We try to represent the time out as a cooling off period. Kids get overwhelmed and angry and so do adults and time outs are good for a cooling down period, so you can come back to the situation, make amends with the person you hurt or offended, etc. It’s seems to have worked really well. Also, I think the most important part of the time out is when it’s over. After they’ve made amends we give sincere hugs and the problem is completely over. We don’t remind them of it, or give them stern looks. It’s done. This is so they know we love them no matter what, unconditionally. My 6 1/2 year old has become what her 1st grade teacher calls, a role model for the other kids. She rarely ever gets time outs now. In fact, I don’t remember her having time out in the last year. My three year old gets time outs very seldom. Sometimes, just talking about the problem works and making sure each kid makes amends with the person they fought with. And solving the problem together. Conflicts will always be a part of life but I feel that encouraging problem solving and working to find a solution is a positive way for them to feel better and take responsibility for what they’ve done.

By: Taylor

Taylor — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 04:26:49 +0000

I am reading a book called Shepherding a Child’s Heart and I am liking it.
I am working on my kids knowing and understand God’s plan for them and right from wrong.

Parenting is certainly hard. And each child is different. You think you have it figured out with one, and then the next one comes and throw you for a loop.
.-= Taylor´s last blog ..Facebookish Stuff. =-.

By: Alisa

Alisa — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 13:46:40 +0000

I totally agree with Kristy. Also, intuitively, it does seem like spanking WOULD teach kids that it’s okay to hit, but in reality it just doesn’t work that way. It just doesn’t.

I teach Kindergarten and am feeling more and more that time-outs just aren’t effective. What’s more effective is to “catch them being good” like someone else said and to praise them for it! They love to feel like their teacher (and Mom, I’m sure) is proud of them.

By: Jill

Jill — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 02:04:42 +0000

Oh, how I dread this day. I am not sure how I feel or what I will do. At times I’ve thought, “don’t spank because it teaches children that it is okay to hit.” However, I received spankings, as did my husband, and both of us turned out okay. Of course, I don’t even like to swat my dogs on the nose…

By: Kristy

Kristy — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 18:35:39 +0000

I agree that it depends on the child but I think the large majority need the physical punishment, at least when they are young. Most younger children do not understand time out, & in reality, it is usually more punishment for the parent than the child to make sure their child stays in time out. My parents never grounded us because they had seen their other friends us it & it rarely had any affect on the kid’s actions. In fact, it usually gave the kid time, in his/her anger, to continue to simmer & plan out how they would rebel next time or how not to get caught next time. With the physical punishment, the pain is there for a moment, the child remembers it but it soon fades & the kid is off again. I do know there is a time where corporal punishment may no longer be effective. By that time, most kids understand the pain of disappointment. Then, just the comment from a parent that he/she is disappointed in their child is worse than the physical punishment. However, depending on the situation, it may in many cases be appropriate to use both physical punishment & grounding/time out together. Just my thoughts.
.-= Kristy´s last blog ..Great Article: "Cultural Marxism in Education: The Gathering Revolt" =-.