When the CPA and I got married, we had a list of things that we swore we would always do. Along with planning lots of travel and having regular date nights, we promised that we would sit down to dinner every night so that we would have time to discuss how our respective days had gone. It didn’t seem to be much of a stretch since dinner had been a huge part of our dating life – we ate out on a regular basis and sat for hours just talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. Food was our thing and dinnertime was special to us.
Unfortunately, real life got in the way and our well-made plans changed. Gone were our dinners out on the town and in their place were low-key dinners at home parked in front of the TV. At first it was because we wanted to enjoy our new home and rather than sit in our unfinished dining room, it was easier to relax on the couch in front of a good show. But pretty soon, we did it mainly out of habit.
Before we knew it, having casual meals in front of the TV was the norm. Now that’s not to say that we didn’t talk, because we did. And we have enjoyed our dinner time routine over the past few years because it’s worked for us.
But when Henry came along, we realized that we needed to re-evaluate the way that we were doing things. Eating in front of the TV might be fine sometimes, but it’s not what we want to teach our little guy. So a couple of weeks ago, we did what we meant to do when we first got married: we had a nice sit-down dinner in our home. (We used our good plates and cleaned off our dining room table and everything!)
It went so well that we had one the next night, and then the night after that. And you know what? It’s been amazing. I’m kicking myself (and the CPA) for not doing this sooner. Who knew that simply sitting across from each other and sharing a meal could make such a difference? I had forgotten how important it was to have that face time together, to be able to ask, really ask, how each other’s day had gone. To discuss current events and politics and anything else that comes to mind. To listen to each other without waiting for a commercial break or the end of a program. To just… talk.
I can honestly say that over the past few weeks, I’ve grown closer to my husband. I’ve seen him in a new light, you could say. I mean I’ve always seen him, but now I hear him too. As an added benefit, I find that I want to cook more (gasp) too. Instead of fixing things that are quick and easy, I’ve wanted to try new recipes and cook something that is both healthy and tasty. And better yet, I’ve enjoyed it.
We’re not the only ones who seem to enjoy this change. Henry now sits in his “big boy chair” right beside us as we eat. He doesn’t say much of course, he merely watches us do our thing, but I know that he’s learning. He’s seeing his mom and dad communicate with each other and in a few months he’ll be able to join in the conversations.
Maybe most important of all, we’re teaching him that it’s important to make time for family. And in the process, we’re strengthening our family too. Because really, that’s what relationships are all about – spending time together.
And if good food is involved – hey, that’s just a bonus.
Do you have a sit down meal in your home? Or does something more casual work for you?
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It’s a big deal, and it’s not something I did as a child. I want to set a new standard. 
I think HE enjoys sitting at the table with you. 
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