Pick Your Best Friend

You know how they tell you that when you get married, you want to marry your best friend?  They say you should choose that special person whom you can talk with and be yourself with. The person that you would want to be with over everyone else.  The one who really gets you.

Well, that’s who I picked those three years ago when I said my  I do’s.  But sometimes I forget that that he’s my best friend. We get busy working and cleaning the house and watching the baby.  Our down time is usually spent trying to unwind from a long day while juggling the needs of our seven month old.  Quiet time is limited and is usually only found during dinner and for the hour or two that is left before bed.

Over the past several days, however, I had a chance to remember why it is so important to be with your best friend.  My sweet husband took the week off from work so that he could get things done around the house.  And since I work from home, this means that we have been, quite literally, side by side for an entire week.

As most of you know, spending a lot of time together can either make or break a relationship.  It’s often easy to get along and have fun when you’re together for one night or for a short trip.  But together 24/7 for an entire week?  That can be seen by some as a test.

I’m happy to say that it’s a test we passed with flying colors.  When we were home, the CPA played with Henry while I worked.  And when we weren’t at home, we ate at restaurants  and we visited the DC Zoo and we went to museums and we talked and then we talked some more.  We cuddled in bed on Sunday while the baby was asleep and we took time to just enjoy each other’s company.  We did all the things that we used to do before Henry was here but this time they were even better because he IS here.

Somewhere in the middle of all this time together, it occured to me that the reason we can do these things is because we are friends, best friends.  I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not when I’m with him.  I can go without makeup and even walk around naked (post-baby body and everything) and he still loves me.  I can get in my weird moods where I laugh at the silliest things or I can even get grumpy and feel like ignoring the world (this happens rarely, thankfully).

And through it all, he gets me.  He loves me, he wants to be with me, and he understands me.  It makes me realize how glad I am that that I listened to them, whoever “they” are, when they told me to pick my best friend and marry him.  Because he is and I did and I can’t imagine life any other way.

Tabitha & The CPA = BFF (that’s Best Friends Forever, for those of you who do not speak “teenager”)

Have you found your best friend?  What makes him/her your BFF?


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Kristina P. - August 31, 2010 - 8:39 pm

Yes! I agree. I get annoyed with my husband sometimes, of course, but I like spending time with him.
.-= Kristina P.´s last blog ..Insert Witty Title Here =-.

joy - August 31, 2010 - 8:46 pm

I totally have to agree with you! My husband is absolutely my BFF. :) Just like you and the CPA, my husband and I “get” each other. We don’t have to pretend to be other people; we are comfortable with each other just the way we are. Even when I don’t have enough faith in myself, my husband is there to reaffirm that he loves me just the way I am. It’s not to say we don’t get on each others nerves once in awhile but all best friends do. I can’t picture my life without him and I can’t remember when I was never with him even though we’ve only been married 5 years and known each other a little longer than that. We always comment how it feels so much longer, like we’ve always been together. I think when you can be comfortable with yourself no matter what, then you’ve found that person. My husband has seen me through the births of two children and through a major surgery. He has taken care of me and done things I’m sure goes beyond the duty. He has never walked away from me and he has never walked ahead of me. He’s always by my side. He truly is my BFF!

Jessica @ How Sweet It Is - September 1, 2010 - 3:32 am

This is so true! My husband and I have such great communication that I can’t imagine him ever not being my best friend!
.-= Jessica @ How Sweet It Is´s last blog ..Cherries and Cream Cookies =-.

Vicky - September 1, 2010 - 5:42 am

What a beautiful and touching write-up! If only it would happen more often that people could find a mate that really gets them and cares for them regardless of post-baby bodies and crampy days! :) Funny but last night my husband found an old home video that we took on a trip to London from 2000- he had a lot more hair and I was a lot cuter! It amazed us how our interactions with each other hadn’t really changed and it was so sweet to see that. I think a best friend is someone who gets you, respects you and admires you as you grow older (and vice versa).

Carolina Baker - September 1, 2010 - 5:58 am

Hey Tabitha, this post is super sweet. I never ever get tired of being around my husband. Yes, there are some moments when I don’t view him as my best friend, but there’s nobody I rather spend my time with than him. There’s nobody I rather share a life with than him. And in my growth and experiences, I’ve never found anybody else that is superior to him in that way.
.-= Carolina Baker´s last blog ..Jenny Gardiner- Author- Talks to GirlHabits =-.

Cristina - September 1, 2010 - 6:08 am

What a great post! My husband is BY FAR my best friend. He knows me better than anybody else and I always joke with him that I am more myself when he’s there than when I’m completely by myself. Does that make sense? ha.
In July my husband took a rotation off in medical school to take care of our baby while I studied for the bar and we were, like you said, together 24/7 for a month. I, like you, was worried. A month is a HECK of a long time…but, we LOVED it. I’m not saying I would want to be by his side every single day of the year like that because I do think that being apart for a few hours a day is healthy, but I did enjoy just being with him constantly. It was so special being together as a new little family and basking in the glory that it is.
.-= Cristina´s last blog ..MORE Random Things on my Mind =-.

admin - September 1, 2010 - 6:16 am

I love reading your comments and hearing you talk about your significant others – it’s so sweet. :) Vicky – I’ve been recently going through our honeymoon pictures and like you, I found that I was a lot cuter (skinnier) back then and we were both younger. But also like you, the way we treat each other hasn’t changed, it’s gotten better if anything, and that’s what really matters.

ps – I wanted to add – I have very few pictures of the CPA and I together since I’m usually behind the camera. That’s why some of these pictures are a couple of years old.

Sara - September 1, 2010 - 7:30 am

Thanks for giving me the big fat AWWW I needed on a rainy Wednesday morning! That first picture of you two on the bridge is so gorgeous.
I also am blessed to be married to my best friend. We’ve only been married for a little over a year, and I can’t get over just how cool it is to live together :) Just sitting on the couch after work and watching tv feels like the best thing ever sometimes.
.-= Sara´s last blog ..Roasted stuffed eggplant =-.

Terra - September 1, 2010 - 9:25 am

Thank you for the reminder. I did marry my best friend, 4 years ago next week. :) And with the busy hustle and bustle of life with two little kids, I often forget that we are on the same team. :) I’m going to remind myself of that thanks to your post. ;)

My husband is an INCREDIBLE man, and quite honestly, the most amazing and worthy man I’ve even met in my life. He was the first man that ever really proved that not all men are hurtful. He’s an amazing father, and a wonderful son to his mom. I couldn’t be LUCKIER than I already am. I hope my son turns out just like him.

Mindee@ourfrontdoor - September 1, 2010 - 2:15 pm

So sweet. I love happy marriages – what a blessing for you AND your baby. :)
.-= Mindee@ourfrontdoor´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Poodle Makeover =-.

Genevieve - September 1, 2010 - 6:59 pm

Sniffle, sniffle. So sweet!

Mom of 5 - September 2, 2010 - 12:21 pm

Wonderful and sweet post and beautiful pics of the two of you. What a great blessing you are for one another. I too married my BFF and he still is after 23 years of marriage….can’t imagine a day without him!! He’s truly my sole mate because he loves me so completely. Thankfully overlooking all my imperfections and always supports and encourages me in whatever I’m doing. Can’t get any better. It’s such a wonderful pert that he’s so handsome, loving, kind, thoughtful…on well, I could go on and on but let’s just say “he’s perfect!!”

Thanks for sharing this sweet post – it was wonderful and certainly warms a Mom’s heart to know how happy you and the CPA are!!!

Tasneem R - September 3, 2010 - 12:08 am

Wonderful post ! Your pair looks great ! Friendship is the core of happiness in any relationship. Yes my BF is my best friend too !
Happiness Together – How happy are you in your partnership? Discover it here.
http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/happiness_together/happiness_together_instructions.asp

Jen - September 3, 2010 - 5:29 am

What a wonderful post, beautifully worded. I married my best friend and we will be celebrating our 1st anniversary tomorrow! We’ve been together for five years and since the day I met him he was the one for me. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect match for me!

Jodie - September 9, 2010 - 8:48 pm

Wonderful post. I just posted about my Hubby (I’m trying blogging…love your site!!) a few days ago. Relationships evolve, and the ones that work are the ones where you evolve together. I am married 10 years tomorrow, and we are blessed with four munchkins. I can’t even remember who I was before I got married, which is odd when I consider 2/3 of my life I didn’t even know my Hubby. Today he is my other half, my partner in parenting crime, and my Best Friend. When he’s gone I feel naked. I pray we all can be as blessed as the ladies who replied to your post!
.-= Jodie´s last blog ..Little Entrepreneurs- Tomato Cups for Sale =-.

Suzanne at Window on The Prairie - September 13, 2010 - 12:12 pm

My husband has been traveling a lot this summer on work, and it has been so hard. We’ve been married for over 2 years now, and he’s truly my very best friend. http://windowontheprairie.com/ Suzanne

Caitlin (EatFeats) - September 16, 2010 - 11:45 pm

This is so sweet! My best friend and my boyfriend are two different people. They are both such huge parts of my life, and I could not imagine being without either one of them.
.-= Caitlin (EatFeats)´s last blog ..The Best Bread Ever in the History of History =-.

Kristen - March 24, 2011 - 6:54 pm

I know I’m late to the party, but this post really inspired me. Even though I’m about to get married to the most amazing person, I have been struggling with the “What if’s”… Cold feet, perhaps? But your thoughts and mantra “Pick Your Best Friend” were a boost I needed. I have the best circle of friends in the world. Wonderfully eclectic individuals who know me in and out; who love me in spite of, and because of, my faults. But my fiance is that one person who shows me, with quiet grace, that a relationship is a give and take. And that makes him my best friend. Because with him I am learning how to be the best person I can be alongside someone who is also doing the same.

So thank you for your post. It helped me think about, and appreciate, my best friend in a whole new way.

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