Would you replace your wedding rings?

So you all know the drama surrounding the loss of my wedding rings a couple of weeks ago.  Sniff. Sniff.

The good news is that I’ve been sporting this five carat, genuine (pronounced genuwine) cubic zirconia ring from Target.  I have to say, it’s pretty stunning.  It’s also huge and I laugh because there’s no way we could afford a five carat diamond ring in real life.  But that will just be our little secret.

Here’s the thing.  I got a call from my insurance company today and was told that the insurance payment should be coming in the next few weeks.  Much to my surprise, mostly because I’ve forgotten how much we originally spent on our wedding rings, it’s a pretty good chunk of change.

Originally my intention was to take the money and run.  Right to the jewelry store, that is.  I’ve been looking at rings and dreaming about my new and improved (read: cheaper and not as good of quality but hopefully bigger) ring.  The dilemma is: there’s an awful lot that we can do with that money.  It would sure buy some nice photography equipment or a flat screen TV, since apparently we are the last people on the block to own one.  But I digress.

All of this means that I’m torn.  I don’t have fancy jewelry or any real diamonds and I have this notion that every woman should have a nice wedding ring that is of good quality.  It is, after all, worn every day for years to come and will most likely be passed along to a cherished family member.  So you’d want it to be special, right?

But there’s something to be said for not wanting to spend thousands of dollars on a piece of jewelry, especially if you can wear a fake one and no one would be the wiser.  And there’s always that fear of it getting lost or stolen again.

I have to figure out what to do so I’m curious:  if your wedding rings were lost/stolen, what would you do?  Would you replace them or would you spend the money on something else?  

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joy - September 20, 2011 - 3:22 pm

My husband purchased my engagement ring and wedding band from bluenile.com. Seriously, the quality was awesome and the price was even better. You could get a nice ring and still have some money left over to purchase some other stuff. :) Personally, I would at least want some kind of ring. I might opt for just a nice wedding band with diamonds instead of having an engagement ring and wedding band. I’m sorry you lost them/had them stolen. It’s hard to replace the sentimental value of the rings.

Katie - September 20, 2011 - 3:26 pm

I would absolutely replace them. They were picked out with such love and consideration that I would want to find something as close to them as I could.

Jessica @ One Shiny Star - September 20, 2011 - 5:11 pm

I would by myself a nice pair of diamond earings (rather… I would tell my husband which ones I bought), and then buy something for the family, like the TV. If you are happy with the way your “new” ring looks, then why not use it to bring more to your life right now.

Don’t get a new ring, just because you think it will be a family heirloom. What if none of your kids wants to use it, or if he marries a gal who wants a different style from what you have? If you do replace your ring, do it because it is what you really want and it makes you happy. If the money can make you happy in other ways (that will make the rest of your family happy too!) then go for it!
Jessica @ One Shiny Star´s last [type] ..thanks a M-I-L

Sue - September 20, 2011 - 6:12 pm

I would definitely replace it. There’s so much meaning to a wedding ring, I’d hate to settle for a cheap replacement that might bend or break in a few months, you know? I’d be worried that if I didn’t replace it now, while the money’s available, that I might regret it down the road. (I can’t imagine the same regret about a tv!)

I do like Joy’s idea of just getting a nice, sparkly band instead of an engagement ring, though, and maybe even having some money left over. Maybe you could even make it sort of fun and romantic and ask your husband to pick something out for you! But jewelry shopping is always fun. :)

admin - September 20, 2011 - 6:18 pm

I’m so glad I posed this question – you guys always have great responses and they really make me think. Plus they make me feel a bit better about my sudden desire to ring shop. :)

ps – I’m loving Blue Nile.com, thanks for the tip!

Jessika - September 20, 2011 - 6:46 pm

When we became engaged, we were a couple who were just starting out professionally and pretty darn dirt poor. But, we both found ourselves very much surrounded by the pressure to get a big ring and flaunt it. We discussed it and got a ring that is simple, inexpensive, but classically pretty. And, it’s one I can wear without worrying about mugging or the diamond falling out (since we coudl afford to replace it). I love it. And we’ve done so much more with the money we saved.

I think of it this way. A ring is symbolic of your relationship. But it’s having a ring on that symbolizes the relationship; the size of the ring and/or diamond does not. A bigger diamond does not mean more love. Your actions should show that… and quite frankly, anyone that judges your relationship only based on the diamond should be questioned.

But, that’s only our perspective. It took a while to come to… and this money is coming to you, so it must be tempting to spend it since it’s not money already in savings!

Jessica - September 20, 2011 - 7:04 pm

Replace it with something pretty but not extravagant. Then you can have some money leftover to get something else.

just a gal - September 20, 2011 - 10:22 pm

When my husband and I got engaged, we could not afford a ring. My husband’s mom gave me a beautiful garnet ring to wear, which on our wedding day she gave to me.

We still haven’t been able to afford a nice big diamond for me–so I went on eBay and found the ring of my dreams, as a CZ. It came from Hong Kong and was $8-. It sparkles, has lot’s of color, and I someone wonder if they sent me a real diamond in error. No one knows that it’s a CZ and I don’t feel the need to tell them. It’s my dream ring, exactly what I wanted.

My husband has offered to replace the CZ with a “real” diamond, but I told him no. Not after what I learned about the horrors of the diamond trade. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Diamond_%28film%29 )

If you still want a really nice diamond, try to buy one from a country that doesn’t use it to fund wars to maim and kill its people. I know there are web pages devoted to “cruelty free” diamonds.

For you, I think you could get something really nice for half the amount of the insurance check, and save the rest for something else. But it’s entirely up to you. There is something about having that ring on your finger that makes one feel, “I am loved.”

JG

Snowglobe Girl - September 20, 2011 - 10:25 pm

When my husband and I got engaged, we could not afford a ring. My husband’s mom gave me a beautiful garnet ring to wear, which on our wedding day she gave to me.

We still haven’t been able to afford a nice big diamond for me–so I went on eBay and found the ring of my dreams, as a CZ. It came from Hong Kong and was $8-. It sparkles, has lot’s of color, and I someone wonder if they sent me a real diamond in error. No one knows that it’s a CZ and I don’t feel the need to tell them. It’s my dream ring, exactly what I wanted.

My husband has offered to replace the CZ with a “real” diamond, but I told him no. Not after what I learned about the horrors of the diamond trade. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_Diamond_%28film%29 )

If you still want a really nice diamond, try to buy one from a country that doesn’t use it to fund wars to maim and kill its people. I know there are web pages devoted to “cruelty free” diamonds.

For you, I think you could get something really nice for half the amount of the insurance check, and save the rest for something else. But it’s entirely up to you. There is something about having that ring on your finger that makes one feel, “I am loved.”

SG

diana - September 21, 2011 - 3:38 am

I’m sorry for your rings! It’s a (small) heartbreak to have them disappear like that!
We (as in here, in Romania) don’t do much of the engagement ring, it’s only become the thing to have in the recent years. So I only had a wedding band. And I lost it (in the garbage bin, no less). So I purchased an identical one. The funny thing is that I resented the new one. It was a “fraud”, pretending to be the original one, the original that was encapsulating the sweet light of the September day when my than fiance and I have chosen a model, and a text to engrave, and the letters, and…it was the one that had been used in the wedding service, the one that was shinning the words “With this ring I thee wed”. It was not that ring. So much so that, on a travel to the States, I forgot it at home. And I don’t like to walk around without my wedding band (again, a “fraud”, pretending not to be married). So to Walmart I went, and purchased the cheapest gold band they had (28 dollars). Well, since being so much different from the original, and being humble by its price (and appearance), I love it. When my nails are not in the best of shape, it doesn’t outweigh the general aspect of the hand, and for the good occasions, it has such a simple and elegant appearance. Anyway, my life as it is nowadays doesn’t allow time for putting on/taking off and keeping track of valuable jewelry. And the best part? I love it! It’s a reflection of my life, sizing down the show in order to give room to life! My valuable jewelry comprises a 13 yo first son (baby sun), a 10 yo last son (baby moon) and a precious almost 4 yo little girl (all the stars in the sky). They shine like no diamond ever had!

theDomesticDez - September 21, 2011 - 6:11 am

I, too, lost my engagement ring. I actually couldn’t afford to replace it, and didn’t have any insurance on it, so I don’t wear one now. :( I still have my wedding band, but it is too small and in a style that can’t be re-sized. So–I bought a new ring, from etsy.com. What I chose was made from copper, and very thin with a “twist” on the front. It was very cheap, but that doesn’t matter to me. It is unique and comfortable, and simple.

Julie - September 21, 2011 - 6:48 am

I would replace but maybe something much cheaper. But if you like what you have right now, not a big deal. My mom and dad will have been married 26 years in February. She still has her originally set with a CZ instead of a diamond.

Lisa - September 21, 2011 - 8:33 am

What a tough question…I am still so sorry about your loss. I have lost so much jewelry that my husband has bought me over the years, that 1) I’m pretty sure he’ll never buy me jewelry again, and 2) I am always afraid of losing my rings.

I think if I were to lose them, I would definitely buy something new – but something different. There was too much sentimental meaning behind my rings (the diamonds are from my mother-in-laws ring from her first marriage), that it would be weird to me to have something similar but just not THE ONE I originally had. I might get something simpler but still with enough sparkle. I’d want something nice to wear to symbolize our marriage that I could still pass on to future generations.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do!
Lisa´s last [type] ..London: The Weekend

Michelle @ A Little P - September 21, 2011 - 11:00 am

I would for sure replace my rings. My husband lost his wedding ring on a trip to Hawaii over the summer and we got a replacement band for him and a back-up band for me. My “vacation” wedding band is a plain white gold band – no bling at all.

I don’t take my rings off at all and hopefully won’t lose them but like yours they are insured.

So sorry about your loss and hope you come to a happy decision!
Michelle @ A Little P´s last [type] ..Making New Friends

Erin - September 22, 2011 - 12:17 am

That is a conundrum. I’d probably replace. Flat screens and Photography equipment will be outdated within a few years…and as we all know, “a diamond is forever”. :)

SaraJ - September 22, 2011 - 7:48 am

I have no idea what your financial plan is, BUT I would encourage you to get on one before you go out and spend that winfall. If you are debt free and have a good investing plan, by all means, go replace it. If not, consider holding off (or stick with something nice, fake or otherwise smaller).

Not many people get the chance to make that decision again. I’m sure at this place in your life, you may make a different decision on the ring.

MaryBe@Accidentally-Vegan - September 22, 2011 - 9:27 am

I would spend every dime on a new set. As Erin said, ‘things’ you might buy will soon be outdated. I think you would be sad down the road if you spent your wedding ring money on a tv
MaryBe@Accidentally-Vegan´s last [type] ..The End of an Amazing Life, and the Beginning of a New One Together

Mindee@ourfrontdoor - September 23, 2011 - 4:35 am

Don’t even think about it. Would you have sold your old set and used the money to but a TV?
Not a chance.
Use every penny to buy a replacement. My set was stolen a few years back and I even used to opportunity to “upgrade” a bit. :)

Your rings are a symbol to the world of your marital status and a visual reminder to yourself of the pledge you made. You don’t want fake!

franca - September 25, 2011 - 1:41 pm

if i mistakenly lost my weeding band,all i need to do is to repurchase another one and go back to my church where it was blessed and re blessed it. mind u, it must be the same ring with my husband.i will go for more expensive one too.

Alison S - September 25, 2011 - 3:11 pm

I would absolutely replace your ring. When you get engaged- your ring is the last pure act that is meant to honor you. For the rest of your marriage- all decisions- and purchases- you make will be to honor your marriage. You deserve this symbol of Self. I would not compromise.

Mary.H - September 26, 2011 - 9:07 pm

I’m not sure what I would do but I suggest getting a pretty set and renewing your vows and include your son and make some memories with the new ring(s). By the way the Target set is very pretty…..

Vicky - September 30, 2011 - 5:40 am

oh, this is such a hard question but a really fun, great question. My mischievous side would ask my husband to decide, since it was his money! Then I would proceed to get mad at him :) I think I would want a simple band instead and then spend the rest on a second honeymoon years later.

Tara - October 3, 2011 - 4:40 pm

2 months after my first wedding, my band broke into several pieces and then, despite my cries to have it repaired, it was tossed into a box which eventually disappeared. I wasn’t terribly heart broken since I honestly hated the original ring (it was NOTHING like the band I picked out, and I’m pretty sure it was THE cheapest thing the man could find). Let me clarify, I hated the style of the ring, but it was still MY ring and it was still the one that my husband had given me, whether it was “perfect” or not. After 3 years of no ring, I opted to have it replaced with an inexpensive CZ ring found on ebay (which I purchased myself). Now, while it was nearly identical to the ring I had originally picked out, it seemed like a constant reminder of the fact that it wasn’t the original one, and over-emphasized how fake my entire marriage was. I’m sure this is not your problem :)

This time around, my husband bought me the exact ring I wanted (despite my protests of it being a bit pricey) and got me a moderately sized flawless diamond (a real one, again despite my protests). To be honest, I spent the first year absolutely terrified that I was going to lose the diamond (or the ring). Now, I can say that if I were to lose my ring, I would whole-heartedly opt for replacing it with something as close to the original as possible. That being said, I wouldn’t just go out and buy the new one, slap it on my finger and call it a day, and I know my husband wouldn’t settle for that either. I would likely try to plan something special to associate positive memories with the new ring so that it wouldn’t just be a “replacement ring.” Knowing my husband, he’d jump at the chance to take me out and propose to me all over again :D

Karen Klasi - October 4, 2011 - 1:01 pm

I picked out my own rings while my then-fiance was deployed. We’ve always said that we would get a bigger and better one for our tenth anniversary. Now that we’re nearing that big, fat, wonderful date, I could care less. IF mine were lost or stolen, I really think I would ask him to choose a simple band to replace them.
Karen Klasi´s last [type] ..Weekend Highlights: North Carolina

Mary Smith - October 4, 2011 - 8:28 pm

I would go to diamondnexxus.com and buy a beautiful manufactured diamond for about 100th of the cost – for our 5 year anniversary my husband bought me diamond hoop earrings that are beautiful but I went to diamond nexxus and got 1.25 carats diamond studs for $340.00 in a white gold setting and love them so much that I no longer wear the hoops. I too don’t like the thought of wearing blood diamonds – so you could get a real diamond that is manufactured and flawless and still get what ever else you need for your family – see win – win!!!

Annie - October 12, 2011 - 6:17 am

Like Mary Smith says, there are plenty of inexpensive yet beautiful “not-diamond” options out there. For my engagement ring, I opted to go with moissanite, which is a synthetic gem that can only be distinguished from diamond by a gemologist. It’s also inexpensive–my ring has .86 ct total, and cost $600. It’s lovely and, in my opinion, actually a little sparklier than diamond.

Girl Gets Ring Review - September 17, 2012 - 1:08 am

I find it amazing as to how important The “ring” is in pre marriage status. and reading the comment here, Most are happy with something that simply just makes there hand look elegant…

That is most refreshing to me, as i was pondering over spending some big money, that could be used more wisely for our future rather than just a ring…

Yea. We will have the house instead thanks…

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