I went to bed a little while ago but I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about my day but rather than running through the list of things that I need to do and the things that I didn’t get done, I found myself feeling overwhelmed. So overwhelmed that it got me out of bed and in front of my computer where I now sit, typing feverishly.
As tired as I am I think that I must have a fever to be typing at 12:30 am. But I have to get this down on “paper” before these feelings go away. And what I’m feeling is that for right now, this very moment, life is perfect. It’s not to say that I don’t have problems or fears or concerns, but just for the moment they don’t seem to matter so much. Right now my heart is full of nothing but gratitude and love for the things in my life. My husband, my son, my health, my family, my talents and abilities. I think about how fortunate I am to be a mother and a wife when for years those things were out of my grasp. Then I think about how we have a roof over our heads and how even though our house is small, it’s home and it’s filled with peace and love. I reflect on my religion and my beliefs and how they help me be a better person every day, especially on the days when I need it most.
I could probably keep going on but I’m suddenly sleepy (overwhelming feelings are apparently quite exhausting) so I’ll go back to bed. Chances are that I’ll wake up tomorrow back to the realization that my life is, in fact, not perfect. I’ll probably be rushing around and trying to get things done and it will be all too easy to push aside the things that I’m grateful for while I concentrate on daily life.
But that’s okay, because whenever I need a reminder, I will be able to read what I wrote during my 12:30-in-the-morning-stupor and for that small moment, once again, life will be perfect.
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