Are you so happy?

I’ve been having some pretty weird dreams as of late and they all involve giving birth in some way or another.  Last night’s dream had the baby coming out of my stomach with me trying to push it back in.  Pretty freaky, right?  It’s such a strange feeling to wake up from a dream like that and try to wrap your head around whatever subconscious meaning it might hold.  I finally gave up and chalked it up to the fact that I’m getting closer to my due date with each passing day.  I hope that doesn’t mean the dreams are going to get even stranger.

On a more positive note… we had a dessert party at our house last night which was awesome.  I had forgotten how much fun entertaining can be.  We invited a few families from church to come over after dinner and bring a dessert to share.  We then sat around and answered questions that I had handed out upon their arrival.  It was great because we got to hear some fun stories and we learned more about each other than we probably would have otherwise.

But the best part of the evening was watching Henry with his new found friends.  A couple of the families had children who are in the 2nd and 3rd grades and they were so sweet to Henry.  They ran through the house playing hide and seek and basically just having a great time.  I loved that they included him and that they genuinely didn’t seem to mind hanging out with a three-year old.  It made my heart melt seeing how happy Henry was hanging out with the “big boys.”

There have been a lot of those moments over the past several weeks for us.  Sure he’s still a toddler and he still has his meltdowns.  But I can see real growth as of late and it’s so encouraging, not to mention heart-warming.  He’s constantly giving us hugs and when he sees we’re upset about something (usually in response to something he’s done or not done, unfortunately) he gives us his best Henry smile and asks, “Mommy are you so happy?”  It’s hard not to be when he puts it like that.

Come to think of it, I am happy.  Not that I’m usually unhappy, but I’m feeling particularly fortunate these days.  Maybe it’s just the hormones talking, but life feels pretty great these days, more settled than it has in a while.  Which is funny given all the change that is coming our way over the next several weeks.  But I feel like our house is finally home, albeit a temporary one (since we’re only renting).  I’m finally becoming familiar with our new area and to top it all off, I feel like I’m starting to make some nice friends.

So yes, Henry, in answer to your question… I am so happy.  And regardless of the reasons why, I’ll take it.


Impromptu Shoots are the Best

This weekend the CPA, Henry and I (and Oscar the dog) decided to go for a walk.  Sure it was grey and gloomy outside not to mention cold.  And I hadn’t taken a shower which is always fun.  But I still decided to bring my camera along and I’m glad that I did.  Even if these pictures do remind me of why I didn’t take a lot of pictures when I was pregnant with Henry (hello – can you say seven-months-pregnant-face?).

So without further ado, here are some of my glorious seven-months-along pregnancy pictures.  Oh – and some of my beautiful boy and my oh-so-handsome husband.

And the dog.  Can’t forget him.


Is it March Yet?

I forgot how much you worry when you’re pregnant.  Is the baby moving enough?  Will she be hurt if I wake up lying on my back?   Am I gaining enough weight?  Too much?  Is that cramp I’m feeling a contraction?

I thought for sure that this time around things would be different, more of the “been there, done that” mentality.  It was for a while.  The first trimester was a matter of survival as I struggled to function normally.  With the move into our new home and with keeping up with a toddler, I didn’t have much time for anything else.  But somewhere around 18 weeks or so, probably about the time I began to feel her move, things got real and the worry set in.

I guess it’s normal to worry and it’s probably inevitable that at some point you think the worst.  But I think I tend to worry more than some because of past experiences.  See, my mother had a baby who was born stillborn when I was about eight years old.  It was a girl and she was named Danielle.  I still remember when my dad came and picked my brother and me up from the babysitters.  The break in his voice, the tears on his face as he told us that the baby wasn’t coming home.  It was the only time that I remember seeing my dad cry.

It’s hard not to think about that experience as I plan for the birth of my own daughter.  Especially after the small scare we had a couple of weeks ago.  We went in on Christmas Eve for our bi-weekly checkup and were told that the baby was measuring small.  I asked what that meant and the doctor informed me that if that was the case, I would be placed on strict bed rest to help the baby grow faster.  Yikes.  Needless to say, over the next couple of days of Christmas activities I couldn’t shake the nagging worry in the back of my mind.  It was with huge relief that we were scheduled for an ultrasound later that week and it was even more of a relief to learn that not only is she not small, but she is measuring two weeks ahead.  Hallelujah.

But we’re not out of the woods yet, as I’m reminded every day.  Thankfully there are only 10 weeks left of this wondering, waiting, and worrying.  Even though it feels like it is going to take forever, I know that some day I’ll look back and I won’t remember all of the stress and the anxiety.

Besides, by then, I’m sure there will be other things to worry about.  Things like her driving, dating, going to school, etc.

Maybe my worries now aren’t so bad after all?



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