Suddenly she was right in front of me.  She was so quiet that I hadn’t heard her.  She was mumbling something as she walked up to me.  I recoiled and began backing away, desperate to get in the store where it was “safe.”  Her sudden appearance had taken me by surprise me and left me speechless.  I stammered something incoherent and skirted around her.  Then I made my way into the store without looking back.

But I couldn’t shake her image out of my head.  What did she want from me?  Should I have stopped and talked to her?  What if she needed help?  My first reaction had been fear.  I realize I have an over-active imagination, but I wondered if it was a scam and I was to be the unwitting victim.  But then I wondered if maybe she was hurt or stranded and needed help.  

These thoughts continued as I made my way through the store.  I wasn’t there long, maybe 15 minutes, but when I returned to the parking lot, I was prepared.  She was right where I left her.  Warily, I approached her.

“What do you need?” I asked.

An inaudible sentence was spoken in my direction.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.  Did you need something?” I asked again, as I cautiously stepped closer.

“I need some money for food,” was her reply.

I realized right then that I had a choice.  I was two feet from my car and it would have been easy to get in and drive off.  I didn’t remember having any bills in my wallet and I told her so.  But I couldn’t leave her there, in the drizzling, cold rain.

“Can I buy you something to eat?” I asked.

“Yes, I’ve eaten at that place before,” she said, as she pointed to the burrito place behind me.  ”A taco, I think it was.”

“Would you like me to get you some food, another taco perhaps?  Will you stay here and not leave?”

“Yes, that would be good.”

I returned a few minutes later with food and drink in hand.  She was talking to a man who had rolled down his window to give her some money.  Then she turned around and shuffled in my direction, hands outstretched.  

“Thank you ma’am,” she said.  ”And God bless you.”

I got in my car and buckled the seatbelt.  She began to walk away, head turned down, chin tucked in against the cold.  I started the engine and let it idle as I watched her move.  Then I put the car in drive and eased out of the parking space.  By the time I had gotten to the end of the row, she was gone.

**************************

I’ve had a hard time putting this experience out of my mind.   I think I’ve continued to think about it because I don’t know how to handle these situations.  According to my Christian beliefs, I should be like the Good Samaritan and help those who are in need.  It should be an automatic response to assist them in whatever way I can.  The reality, however, is often quite different.  

Walking to and from work on the busy streets of the District, I often see panhandlers and homeless people sitting on the sidewalk, asking for change.  Day and in and day out, the same people sitting in the same spots.  I’ve even gotten yelled at for not acknowledging their pleas when I was in a hurry or had my hands full.  So I have become somewhat jaded and find myself quickly averting my eyes when someone approaches me. 

It hasn’t always been this way though.  There was a time when I wasn’t so desensitized to the struggles of the people around me.  There was a time when I wasn’t so frightened to help those people.  I think I’ve heard one too many stories of someone being taken advantage of or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  I’ve lived in the city too long, I guess.  When someone approaches me, especially in dimly lit surroundings, my instinct is to run. 

So what do I do?  Do I take a chance and offer some support?  Do I throw caution and fear to the wind?  Or, another question, am I really helping them by giving them money or am I merely perpetuating the problem?

What do you do when faced with such a situation?